Spoiler Alert (or why I love a good B movie)

Ever wonder what happens when a 40-billion-year-old rock suddenly projects itself out of the earth, makes the atmosphere all sparkly and spontaneously heals sick people?

Why, you send in the swashbuckling Ryan O’Neil circa 2001 and a psychic alien-machine decipherer named Mason!

But wait! The military feels threatened. Cue the megalomaniacal military General and the nuclear weapon.

Thank heavens for the virtuous Army Captain who reads a passage from the Bible and helps everyone realize that the giant rock may just be…GOD!

Our only hope? The psychic alien-machine decipherer and the sexy-chip-on-her-shoulder scientist slash love-interest must enter the rock…er…God… and destroy the nuclear weapon before Japanese troops, just moments away, destroy the whole operation and start World War III!

But just then, a see-through flying worm whisks the star-crossed lovers to a giant white room where they simultaneously disarm the weapon AND conceive a baby. A couple of high-fives from the military troops, and everyone lives happily ever after.

The end.

• • •

Photo-collage representation of the 2001 sci-fi flick Epoch ©2012, Jen Payne.

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