as it will go

Several times on my walks recently I passed the dam that wasn’t supposed to be there. Unhappy with newly-placed stepping stones, someone chose to create a bridge across the stream that separates the first half of the trail from the second.

Every time I saw it I thought: that’s not right, it’s going to change the flow of the stream and make a mess.

The irony of the observation didn’t strike me until yesterday…

I went for a walk yesterday to clear my head. I’d been struggling all day with something and needed clarity.

At the trailhead, I took a deep breath, pulled my hat down around my ears and asked out loud: “Please help me find resolution.”

And then I walked.

I tried to make it a quiet walk – pushing the thoughts out of my way to leave room for the answer. But they would have none of that. There were too many – criss-crossing this way and that, jumping from this moment to the next.

Just as I thought I had found a conclusion, they’d chime in again. Clamoring about something else, in some other direction.

It’s not working.
It is what it is.

But what happens next?
Be in the moment.

I tried to appease them with the “Serenity Prayer.”

Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

Like a mantra over and over again. But I kept struggling to find my peace.

Then I came to the dam, and sure enough, water was building up behind the rocks and overflowing onto the trail.

“You just can’t mess with the natural flow of things,” I thought.

And there she was, clear as day.

(The rest of the walk was sweet and quiet.)

• • •

Photo ©2012, Jen Payne

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